A 6-foot-3, 365-pound manhog says an Oriental restaurant overcharged him for taking nine full-plate trips to the buffet line, then banned him from using the bathroom.

     The man claims that he and his a relative are being victimized by the owner of the bistro because he has a "P.O.W.'s - NOT FORGOTTEN!" bumper sticker on his Ford F-150 manure spreader and because he uses a slotted spoon to strain Swedish meatballs out from "the scram gravy and all the grease."

     A spokesman for the restaurant, Nguyen Cao Ky denied the claim saying, "No goddamn P.O.W.'s in the buffet table! Su Mao! Mao!"

     Ricky Labit, a disabled offshore worker - and past president of the Stupid Fucking Name Club (SFNC) - said he had been a regular for eight months at the Hanoi Hotplate Restaurant in Senekot, eating there as often as three times a day and hiding a Victoria's Secret catalog behind the toilet tank in the handicapped stall of the men's room.

     On his most recent visit, he said, "a ugly-ass, bitchwhore waitress" gave him and his wife's cousin, 44-year-old Michael Borrelli, a bill for $46.40, roughly double the buffet price for two normal-sized adults.

     "She says, 'Y'all fat, and y'all eat too much.'" Labit said. "If y'all keep eating like that y'all have to tie a string on your dick to find it, you fat blubberasses!"

     Labit and Borrelli said they felt discriminated against because of their size. "I was stunned, that somebody would point out that between the two of us, we weigh so much that we usually use the State Police Truck Scale. I ain't that fat, I just retain a lot of water" Borrelli said his current weight of 375 pounds represents a healthy 165 pounds of muscle, bone and organs, plus 26 gallons of water that sadly looks exactly like lard.

     When the waitress told him he looked like he a had a "baby in the belly," He snapped at her, "You're gonna' have my Doc Marten up yer' BUTT in two shakes."

     The restaurant's accountant, Ben Kounter, said the men were charged an extra $10 each on Dec. 21 because they made a habit of dining exclusively on the more expensive seafood dishes, including crab legs, frog legs, grubs and various `varmint specialties' such as sloth, squirrel and groundhog meats."

     Hearing this, Labit began a tirade, "Groundhog meat? I thought it was ground HOG meat! I been eating varmints? Now I KNOW you got P.O.W.'s hidden in your basement."

     "We get a lot of big people there," said Campo, who spoke for owner, whose English and sense of hygiene limited. "We don't discriminate. We encourage everyone to come to the restaurant. As we advertise, it's 'All you can Eat.' so after one heaping plate - `that's all you can eat!'"

     The police report states, "The incident was settled when the management advised that the bill was a mistake and, to appease Ricky, the meal was complimentary." Ricky then asked the cop, "Does that mean I can still get one more dessert?"

     Labit insisted on paying but was told not to come back. He complained that when seafood on the buffet line runs out, the restaurant only grudgingly cooks more. "I hate food cooked by a gook with a grudge. It tastes like poo."

     Campo said the proprietress tries to reduce waste of quality food, he said.

     "So she considers these guys eating what they paid for a waste." said Borrelli, "If it wasn't for Americans like me she'd be living in Ho Chi Minh City peddling her ass to Scandinavian tourists."

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