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"Erica Jong?

Bite my wong!"


    Dateline: Mound O' Venus, NJ - 01/15/08  by Roderigo Wintershorts


     America's foremost petrified sack of compost is tired. Not just tired-looking from what appears to be a couple of botched Tijuana, back-alley facelifts. Not just sounding tired after hawking the same I-hate-men sewage for 34 years. Nay, nay this washed-up hack is tired of composing coherent thoughts, writing a short blabs for HuffPo and taking her hormone replacement enemas.

     In the words of Blazing Saddles' Lili Von Shtupp - "Let's face it... everything below the waterline is kaput."

Left:

HuffPo Bio picture

A two-bagger at best

 

 

 

Right:

Actual photo

Jesus H. Christ!

         As the former "feisty Feminist" wrote:

     "I am so tired of pink men bombing brown children and rationalizing it as fighting terrorism. I am so tired of pink men telling women (of all colors) what to do with their wombs--which connect with their brains--in case you forgot. I am so tired of pink men telling us we should stay in Iraq for generations. I am so tired of pink men buying bombs and cheating schools. I am so tired of pink men having wives who stand behind them and nod sagely on television."

HuffPo Article

     Gee whiz, Jongie, why so harsh? Tough times with your four husbands? Last guy have problems with "excessive play" between shaft and sheath? Pud-buzzer on the fritz? Saddened that you seem to be aging into an unholy cross between Donald Sutherland and Sid and Marty Kroft's Witcheepoo?

     Give us a clue Oh Zipless One.

     Why have you always had a stick up your ass?

     Her answer comes at the end of her stream-of-prattle:

     "... I know all generalizations are false. I know there are bad mothers, bad women, bad sisters, bad aunts, and bad females of every stripe. But I have seen enough men in high office to last a lifetime. Let's give women a chance!"
     419 words that blame the evil in the world on men. Pink men. Not swarthy Middle-Eastern men with bomb belts... not Pink women who drown their children in cars and bathtubs... not penis-severing, Latina pychopaths who have N.O.W. rush to their defense... not even the Pinkest woman in the World who enabled her husband molest/sodomize other women then joined him in calling them liars.

      "Trailer Trash" James Carville said, being an expert on the subject due to HIS ancestry.

     So what Jong is saying is, "Let's give women a chance to do all the things she says men do. Let women have control - not for their ability to compete or bring peace or improve the economy or protect us and our families from global terrorism and political insanity.

     Let women have a chance because it's "their turn."

     The Roderigo Response: "Convince the Mullahs that women should run things in their corner of the world and you've got my vote...

     ...until then,  thank `Your Goddess' that you have men to protect you."

    - end -

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Hot BVD available for afternoon K&R sessions with generous WPLJ or discrete MBA.  Must have Airedale or similar big-boned sighthound and love Square Dancing, Farmer Euchre, Marie Callendar's Pie,  buckknives, and pee. 

No collegiate crowd-pleasers, please.  MM231

Grubby stevedore OCS with more than my share of scars, looking for mincing, whining, open-bottom, wide-wale, seadog wanna-be with bright eyes and metal orthodontia.  While the storm whips up from the East, I'll batten your hatch to a fare-thee-well. "Heave-to, Matey... and belay your retainer." MM423

Lonely lesbian, hammertoes and bursitis, endometriosis and chronic borborygma, allergic to mold, mildew, and cotton, adverse reactions to plastic, wood, and most metals, agoraphobic, jumpy, prone to outbursts and outbreaks.

Care to chat?  WW735

Self-centered bitch who loves to make you feel like crap. I know how truly pathetic you look in the nude and I will take every opportunity to degrade and demoralize you.

Want to meet me?  Want to sleep with me?

You already have. 

I'm your wife.      WW443

You were on BART last Wednesday at 9:45 p.m. You looked at me as if to say "Are you?"  Well, I am, but I said nothing and got off at the University Avenue stop.  Later that night I fantasized what I might have done if you would have let me. . I'm sooo glad I got off that bus   MM312    

I heard a lot of stories and I reckon they are true about how girls are put upon by men. I know I mustn't fall into the pit. But when I'm with a feller I forgit. I'm just a girl who can't say no. I'm in a terrible fix. I always say "Come on, let's go," just when I oughta' say "Nix."            WM123

Will-O-The-Wisp mintyboy with sister's hand -me- down wardrobe will "put on a show" for the right eager Jock (18-22) must be a real Jock (Rugby, Football, or Wrestling) Golf and/or Tennis Jocks need not apply unless they are 9"+ and drive a Renault Dauphine.    MM152

A crowd of Iraqi men, fresh from Baghdad, unshaved, unwashed, beating their breasts in a self-flagellatory frenzy. One glances at me and bares his teeth. I see him reach into his pocket and pull out his... Oh, OH! OH, GOD! - whew wow! -  Thanks for watching.   MM341  

Why can't I find that special dreamboat that will make me melt like an Eskimo Pie on a hotplate? Chunky Aleut, sans husky, seeks harpooner with whale, but no blubber.  Fish at my ice hole and I promise you'll pull in the "Catch Of The Day" Nanookey of the North.     MM634

Ever dream of having a hot, oily bed session with one of the Backstreet Boys?  Well, dream on, Silly. I'm a nervous, closeted guy who alternates between wild boy fantasies and deep anger toward my father, a Franciscan Friar. No, he's not a chicken.  MM721

 Mirth in the morning? Amusement in the afternoon? Fun in February?  Delight in the Deli? Laughter in the Lavatory? Bliss in Beds, Baths, and Beyond? Passion in the Ping's Poodle Pogoda. Alliterative Poet seeks Prozac Partner. MM023

Tenured PHD with all day to wait for you to call me. I like long walks, say, from San Diego to Compton, and enjoy occasional beatings by disaffected Asian Engineering students. I grade on a curve, and so should you.  Wear thick glasses if you want my "A"     MM233 

Older, distinguished African-American gentlemen, tired of appearing in medallion on front of rice box seeks big, beautiful African-American woman with bandana and a way with hotcakes. "I got your syrup, Sweet Thing. You got my waffles?"   MW743

Thick hot meat. Much bigger than the rest and in your mouth in a minute. Wrap your lips around it and go for it!  Guaranteed you'll want more when the juice drips down your chin. Don't say I didn't warn you...     

Shensons Corned Beef Sandwiches!   $6.99 

Buff, athletic dude with "chicken-in-the -basket" looking for French and Heinz 57 on the side.  Oh, yeah, gimme' a Mountain Dew with that and the Chocolate Cheesecake on a stick. Wait a minute, make that a McFlurry.  Dave - the guy driving his Dad's RX7  MF31   

 

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